Hayden M.

About the best one can expect in the overhyped “smash” category. Lipstick on a pig (cow). If your beef is of middling quality, smash it up and overcook it. It’ll be tasty. But you deserve better. Above average cheese.

A strange beast. Consistency = wiggly. The star ingredients... were they even there? The ultimate question that begs to be asked: at this price point, is it as good as minetta tavern? The answer is a resounding ‘No’. Also beers are like 14$.

I guess if I was drunk I might mistake it for a terrible burger.

Despite being late, Andrew looked lovely and was surprisingly easy to be around.

I give the boobies two thumbs up. Andrew on the other hand, showed up late, wore an Apple Watch, and appears to have on some sort of hooded sweater which is both impractical and silly looking.

Love the 1$/ounce beers!

Effortlessly distilled perfection.

Delightfully original

Andrew pulled this one off without a hitch and as such his organizational skills merit a perfect ten. Unfortunately he was also wearing a newsboy cap, so I'm forced to rate him a 3.0 as a person.

I was late of no one's fault but my own, though Andrew failed to save me a bar seat and/or order me a burger so I was forced to mooch off some poor unsuspecting fellow. As a result, I'm forced to issue his organizational skills a solid 0.3 and his overall rating as a person at -1. I'll be sure to be just as inconsiderate next time and, knowing me, I hope he'll be better prepared.